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  • Avril Rodriguez

How to Stop Liking Your Crush

Since the founding fathers laid the Constitution of the United States, American teenagers have received a decent education. At first, teenagers like us attended school, or at least some of them. By the start of the twentieth century, almost every child and teen was required to attend school, and along with school came unisex classrooms. Classrooms where elementary, middle school and high school crushes were developed.

Woman sitting in the grass
POV: me daydreaming in the middle of the school day

Whether you have conversed with your crush, have never talked to them, or have a had a meaningful friendship with them, and are looking to get over your infatuation, here is a quick breakdown of how to stop liking your crush:


Nevertheless, first, let us see why you are thinking of breaking up with your imaginary boyfriend/girlfriend:

1. You are not planning on asking them out:

It is not in your best interest to have a strong attraction to someone you do not plan on going up to or asking out. The longer you hold onto this person, the more likely you will form a fake perception of this person. By the end of liking your crush, you may have created a different personality than the person is actually like. Not only have you deceived yourself, but you have also wasted your thinking time on something in which you could have been more productive.

2. They are intangible:

Crushes can be physically intangible. Take, for example, a celebrity. A celebrity crush does not even recognize you as human because they do not know you exist. Not only do you not know the person, nor are you near them, but you only see the best of them in interviews and press conferences. You only see them when they are on their best behavior.

Woman in front of bright lights


If either of these two reasons apply to you, here are three ways to stop liking your crush:

1. Challenge idealization

We tend to be physically attracted to someone before creating an emotional attachment. At first glance, you are likelier to like someone who is appealing to the eyes than someone you do not find physically attractive. With little or no interaction, having a solid connection to someone based on their physical attraction is a dangerous game to play. You will create an idealized version of the person you like from this. You are placing a face for the ideal person you are daydreaming about. Your crush is the actor in your imaginative film, not the real person behind the script.

Here is how to stop this nonsense. First, recognize the flaws and shortcomings of the person. They can be substantial or minimal, but they add up together. For example, for me to get over my crush, I had to think of every possible "ick" my crush gave me. This ranged from having a history of treating girls poorly to how he walked in the hallway. "Icks" can come from both extremes of shortcomings to help you overcome your crush. Challenging idealization will help you build a more balanced perspective of them which you may have been blind to before.

Man in the hallway

2. Start liking someone else

Although this may not be the healthiest way to move on from your previous crush, it is a start. Find someone you know to be kind-hearted and good-spirited - and someone who is cute (it does not hurt). Also, do not turn your next crush into an unapproachable celebrity. Please do not spend the entirety of your days thinking about him or her, and do not doubt yourself when approaching them. It can be nerve-wracking, but find someone you have the courage to talk to and ask out. What is the point of liking someone if you never plan on conversing or going out with them?

Two people sitting on the hood of a car

3. Focus on self-improvement

After using your thinking time to think of someone other than yourself, it is time to think about yourself! Distract yourself from your crush by focusing on your interests and the essential tasks you may need to complete in front of you - like your assignments. If your crush happens to be in your class or sits right next to you, try your best to stay focused on the class rather than the person. Pay attention to your surroundings and become in tune with your five senses. Become aware of the sights and sounds surrounding you to give even greater attention to the classwork and the teacher.


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